OVER ONE YEAR has passed since I moved into the City. I told myself, “Do it for a year.” Evaluate, assess, decide. How hard could it be? What could possibly go wrong?
Well, in some ways, EVERYTHING. And in other ways, what could go right? EVERYTHING.
And that’s just how New York City is. It’s everything wrong and everything right. It’s rarely a smooth ride in between hell and heaven. You swap places with Right and Wrong NYC all the time. Right now, everything is right for me, and only getting better. From what I am hearing lately, however, this is not the narrative for all my musician peers.
Let me give you an example of NYC when it’s Wrong.
(Now, I don’t consider myself an anomaly amongst humans in regards to “doing life”. I think I’m an average life-doer, with an average amount of rising and falling with an average amount of pain and growth. BUT.)
At a recent singer/songwriter showcase in which I was honored to participate, the chorus to one writer’s tunes was,
“YOU EXHAUST ME NEW YORK!”
IT’S IN CAPS BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IT FELT WHEN SHE SANG IT.
She had been here long enough to capture the height, depth, and breadth of her experience here in one capitalized agony.
“I don’t belong here, I can’t belong here, maybe I just don’t belong anywhere?”
This was the lamenting of a young (young looking?) girl who had moved to the city from Wisconsin to chase her dreams, and found it unwelcoming, unfriendly, and unforgiving.
“There are people all around me and I’ve never felt so alone.”
This is probably the most common lyric I’ve heard, in various forms. This particular gent’s soul was collapsing under the weight of the loneliness.
Now, let me give you a few examples of NYC when it’s Right.
That isn’t a song lyric, that’s me after showing my visitor from France around the City for a solid four days of walking, touring, walking, eating., and general fun.
“I belong here, you belong here, we belong to each other.’
This is paraphrased from a conversation I had with another musician friend of mine regarding identity, relationship, and our mutual connection to the world because we are human.
“We’ll build our cathedrals tall and fill them with our love.”
This IS a song lyric of mine, taken from my brand new song, “Cathedrals”. It’s reflecting the importance of community, building and growing something together, and filling it with the most important element this life can offer.
Maybe these examples don’t relate well as other-side-of-the-coin examples, except that they are very real feelings for very real people.
|| What is your point!? || you ask ||
The point is I am where I am because I have been extremely lucky to have fallen into the eyes, hands, and hearts of people, friends, fans, and saints like you. That may be the cheesiest thing you read all week. But I’ve never written anything truer. From the beginning I have not been alone, and as I’ve met some of you and you’ve followed my musical journey during my time here, I’ve only become richer in relationship.
So from my last post literal months ago until now, from last year until now, what have I learned? I am exhausted. But I belong here. And I am filled with love. And I know you’re with me in every moment and I could not be more grateful.
Thank you for ALL the support and love! Really great things are happening, I’m moving and grooving and loving it all and SO happy you’re here with me!
All my love,